Humoresque in G Flat Major - Whatever THAT Means...

While Humoresque dances around in my head, I write to tell you, my captive readers, of my exciting vacation day. My best friend forever pointed out to me that I was on a staycation, which is the lamest word I think I have ever heard in my life besides "epic". "Epic" didn't get lame until it was played out, though. "Staycation" was lame the first time I heard it. I'm going to quit making apologies for being me. I am going to be more substantial. Now. Not, I am "going to be". I am now. Let me tell you about my day. I woke up this morning with a vision in my head of being at the zoo by 9am, when it opened. That vision of sugarplums quickly turned into medusa as my soon-to-be-ex-husband shot a nasty remark at my daughter when she woke him up. He's such an asshole. Let's just get that out there so everyone knows. A complete self-absorbed, narcissistic prick. Where I have been the last 10 years of my life, God only knows. We did arrive at the zoo around 10:30. I was prepared with a backpack, sunscreen, snacks, epi-pen, stroller, bottle, diapers, extra wipes, sunglasses, a watch, and my uber-cool floppy safari hat. I purchased a membership so I can now go to the zoo every single day if I want to. I learned all about mountain gorillas last night. I was all over the zoo's website last night and this morning. I donated my tokens to the orangutans and the frogs in Panama. We started with the giraffes (no surprise there - everyone does). The giraffe let my daughter hug it, for a remarkably long period of time. I don't even let her do that to me. I learned all about tools the zookeepers use with the giraffes. My ex and daughter fed a chipmunk a couple of those new cocoa puff brownie blast cereal pieces, much to my horror. We saw a colobus monkey, that someone mistakenly called a columbus monkey, but I forgive them because I was referring to them as bonobo monkeys until I read the name plate. The zoo was filled with loud, obnoxious, slobby people, like the last time I went; I can't understand why one would go to the zoo if s/he did not revere animals, however, I guess the zoo is a form of animal exploitation. There was also a surge of pregnant women - I counted 5. Sadly, I did not see any pregnant animals. I saw these amazing orange hornbills and I learned people kill them in Africa because they break windows - they see their reflection in them and think it's another hornbill, so they attack the reflection. I saw my faith-proving okapis, and a tapir. I don't even remember looking at the elephants, although I know we paused there for a moment. I think I was preoccupied with keeping ahead of a particularly noisy woman. We went through wallaby world and to the budgie-buddy house. My daughter petted a baby orange monitor lizard - I don't remember the common name. A couple was changing their daughter's diaper in a remote corner. We saw the emus - they were also in the remote corner. I noticed they had cankles, too. We paused outside the budgie-buddy house and I ate cherries while my son fell asleep in his stroller and my daughter cooled herself at the misting fan. We saw the snow leopard and the amur leopards, and some very cool otters swimming repetitive circles up and down. The otters were one of many very cool events. We saw a lynx and a woman breastfeeding her baby - I was very impressed with that and quietly smiled at her. Another cool event was watching a porcupine seemingly come to life after a long slumber, painstakingly make its way down about two branches, and then settle on a large branch of tree, yawn, and go back to sleep. We saw some turkeys and this guy next to us was calling to them and the female was responding to him. I would have too, but there were wives and soon-to-be-ex husbands around. We saw a moose with some algae on its antlers. We ate lunch at the Grizzly Grill and I couldn't decide what to get, so I ended up with fried veggie rice (I was having an ethical dilemma about eating meat at the zoo) and a bacon turkey sandwich (hell, I don't know...don't ask me what goes on in my head). It was way too much food and I ended up wasting over half of it, so then I had even more guilt (not only did I purchase this dead animal, necessitating it's replacement in the buffet line, but now it's in the trash, and I didn't even thank it before eating the few bites I did...) After that disturbing mental strife, we headed on down towards my favorites, the primates. On the way there, we saw the burmese python, some frogs and penguins, and two hippos. The hippos started snorting and spraying water at each other - another very cool event. My son loved it! Then we headed out to see the western lowland gorillas. We didn't see them outside, so we headed into the primate house where my daughter ran to the naked mole rats and my ex and I watched some tamarins cleaning each other. One of the tamarins followed my ex around. It is amazing how small they are and how much intelligence they exhibit. Little pint-sized powerhouses. Then we saw Gotek, a male orangutan born in February of this year. He was with both his mama and papa. His papa started hooting very loudly when Gotek and his mom were out of site, and then Gotek went back over to his papa. Another very cool event. Then we saw a couple of orangutans sleeping outside, and then my son started getting upset, so we walked past some other kind of primate and ended up in the inside area of the gorilla enclosure, where there was also a macaque. The macaque came down from the tree and up to the glass to see my daughter. I was feeding my son when we noticed the silverback coming down from the top of the mountain, a younger ape followed him. We rushed to the outside area where we noticed it was raining. How cool. I had just read that one of the behaviours Dian Fossey noted in mountain gorillas was their averseness to rain. All the gorillas were hanging out under the shelter, next to the glass, because it was raining. The day at the zoo was complete, and my son was most unhappy, so we left. We enjoyed some frozen yogurt and picked up a birthday toy and candle for my son on the way home. My son and I then took a 3-4 hour long nap, during which I dreamt of Greg (like Jimmy's Mary). It makes sense, though. The last time I went to the zoo was after Greg broke up with me and I was trying to figure out who I was. Here I am, back at the zoo trying to figure out who I am. I then had a long conversation with my bff in which we were trying to interpret men. haha. The day was good. Good day!