Hi!

That man pictured below...I just love him! Everytime I see his picture or think about him I just want to wrap my arms around him and pull him close to me. Mmmmmm.....!

I have already determined what I am going to write about for my final in my Philosophy of Global Sustainability class. My thesis is that humans should go into overshoot and let the Earth's ecosystem collapse. I am excited about writing it! That's when I started thinking that I need to get serious about writing. I used to love to write. And read. And I love philosophy. And I hate my job. Perfect! That's great logic! Philosophy has shown me that I'm not crazy...I'm smart! = ) LOL...so much for the faith you have in me, now, huh?

I really like going to school. I really like UCCS, even though I said otherwise when I was going through the whole registration process with them. I think I should try to get a job at a university. I love the environment of knowledge and fresh eyes and minds tossing around ideas. I don't even care what is done with those ideas, I just love the pure pleasure I get from intellectual stimulation. Learning is not only a means to an end for me. It is the end itself also. I am going to order a subscription to "The Sun". I read one issue from front to back and really enjoyed it. I don't think I've done that with a magazine since "Horse Illustrated". Another huge selling point for me is that there are absolutely no advertisements in it at all.

I got back in touch with my friend, Shana, last week. Hi Shana! You're like the only person I know who actually reads my blog! Very excited to be back in your life! I'm a completely different person from when you knew me and at the same time I haven't changed a bit! I have decided that, should I get married again, I will change my last name completely, not hyphenate it. This is because I feel that I am no longer that person anymore. I was an "Awalt" until I became a "Pryor", and then the life I once led changed. That is when I stopped identifying with my family and Thomas helped me to see that I was a separate being from them and capable of making decisions independently of them and not always needing to take them into consideration, or at lease if I did take them into consideration, keeping in mind who they are and how they think and act. And I am no longer a "Pryor", or maybe I am, but I am making the transition out of that phase of my life. Right now I suppose I am a hyphenation. I suppose I am a "Pryor-Awalt". When Thomas left, I started to remember who I was before I met him. God, that is so dysfunctional. But, I suppose dysfunctionality is all relative. So, here it goes...."I am not dysfunctional!". Thomas and I may have had a dysfunctional relationship, and my family may be truly dysfunctional, but I am not dysfunctional, and my relationship with my daughter is not dysfunctional. I am what I am and Jaden is who she is, and we are slowly but surely establishing a mutual respect. We are a far cry from where we should be, but now I have the vision to get us there, and eventually she will establish her own input into that vision.

I should get to bed now, I am sick....physically.